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| Photo Credit- http://www.wsj.com |
I am not here to hide the truer
version of me…which is pretty human like many of you! At times, I do get disappointed, frustrated,
sad, helpless and upset. Even most sophisticated machines have break downs; I
am just a simple and ordinary person. But, I know one thing that I try really
hard to bounce back getting better with each hurdle.
Life is a hurdle race; it is a
roller coaster ride. Unfortunately, people only see our highs and lows, but
they have no idea what have we done in between those extremes. I believe that the real journey is the one between
our own lows and highs. It is a very adventurous journey. We see and
learn many new things about ourselves during that journey.
Now, these humble thoughts came
when I realized how bad a mentor I am. It is frustrating at times to do
mentoring. You feel helpless. You may experience that nothing is working. You
are failing to connect with the one whom you are mentoring. It is one of the
toughest jobs in the world. Now, I can understand why Rahul Dravid, star Indian
cricketer, now coach of Rajasthan Royals in IPL, was telling that coaching is a
very difficult job, a different ball game all together. It drains you emotionally
when you fail to inspire and get the desired result despite your sincere
efforts.
I want to be more calm and
composed but sometimes, I just couldn’t hold my displeasure. I am a bad mentor
as I couldn’t grow as a mentor despite an experience of more than 15 years from
a very tender age. Now, from this
moment, I am determined to transform myself into an amazing mentor. When I look
deeper to find ways to do so, I find the following things:
Key points for those who are Mentoring
v
Your main
job is to inspire not to teach- My English tutor, my Sanskrit tutor and my
teachers at kota taught me many subjects but what they truly did was that they inspired
me. Then have given me the confidence to
follow my dreams. They made me believe in myself. They deployed innovative ways
to teach which made learning fun and enjoyable. All elements of Periodic Table
were on our finger tip as my In-organic chemistry teacher had made a song for them
like Zanabe Ali ne bekar gaaya Punjabi
song aaj sab bhikari Indore gaye ( This song is for all those elements which
act as metal and non-metal- Zn, Al, Pb, … oh!..... I forgot others)
v
Motivate
and encourage- Sometimes, I tell negative things in frustration to those I
really want to help. This makes me feel pathetic later when I regret doing so.
A good mentor is like an all weather friend who will go out of the way to come
up with interesting and creative ways to inspire. They will always boast your
confidence. They will make you feel comfortable and you will feel empowered in
their company. They always motivate and encourage without getting affected by
anything else.
v
Never
lose temper- I am a bad mentor as I often break down when things are
not moving as planned. But, to be a good mentor, you need to be more patient
and should never ever lose temper. Everyone is unique and all are capable to
achieve anything they want in life. Your job as a mentor is to get them into
Flow (Must Read about Flow). Encourage them to do things that makes them
happy ( See my list of 19 things which makes me happy and then make yourlist).
v
Be more
compassionate – Everyone is special and unique. Different things motivate
different people. If you can inspire them then they will achieve more than you
would expect. My English Tutor made me so passionate about writing articles
that I used to daily write 5-6 pieces of writing and I can sense the joy my
tutor used to get from seeing me taking initiatives on my own. He used to rate my articles on a scale of 1
to 10.
My journey was
amazing from getting 5.5/10 to 8.5/10. I am sure, he was proud on me. One day
in my passion for writing more and more articles, I made many mistakes in my articles, he explained
the mistakes and didn’t rated the articles as he didn’t wanted to de-motivate
me. Hats off to you, sir, Respect! I am writing about ratings and marks, but
they were only a benchmark where, I was competing with myself. It was one of
the best phases of my life.
v
Win
support and trust of the pupil- Keep finding new ways to explain something
so that they can relate. Encourage your
pupils to play on their strengths and overcome weaknesses. Win their support
and trust, so that they can share their feelings with you without any
inhibition. It will enable you to understand the needs of the pupil. Otherwise,
you cannot prescribe the correct medicine for them without them explaining their
correct requirement. So, as a mentor the onus is on you to get your pupils
speak to you.
Key Points for those getting Mentored
v
Communication
skills- Clearly explain what you feel or want to learn from your mentor.
Unless you communicate properly, the mentor is not god that he/she can understand
what’s going on in your mind
v
Lack of
interest- If the mentor fails to motivate you and you are lacking interest
then let your mentor know about it. Good mentor welcome feedback and they can
find out ways to help you overcome this.
v
Not
paying any attention to mentor’s advice- Let you mentor know what you feel about his/her advise. Mentors
give advice for your betterment; if you can’t accept it for any reason, let
them know about it politely with the reason. They will understand and will find
a solution with is acceptable to you.
v
Get
determination and will power to get into FLOW- No one can help you without
your permission. Even, Gods help those who help themselves. So, understand that
your mentor is just a human and will require your support in order to help you.
Discuss your problems openly with your mentor. Don’t shy away. If the mentor is
not co-operating then it is high time to get a new mentor, who is more
understanding. And most important thing,
to put your best efforts to get into FLOW by strong determination and will
power.
v
Keep
Learning and pleasantly surprise the mentor- You must keep learning always.
If you are not enjoying the journey then relax and reassess your goals. Then,
find ways to keep learning in a way that it is fun. And, most important thing, more often
pleasantly surprise your mentor and make them feel proud on you. And, don’t
forget very soon you have to be a MENTOR for someone and then you will realize
their pain when you don’t respond to their efforts!! As a kid, I have made the
life of my first tutor very difficult by throwing tantrums every now and then.
Probably it’s time payback time for me as I find myself in his shoes.
Now, I am winding up on a lighter note with the famous
lines from a Bollywood movie which says that “ Aadmi ko apne bure karmo ki saza
issi janam me bhugatni hoti hai ( People have to pay the price of this bad deeds in this life
itself) ”
By- Rohan Sinha
