3 Habits of Successful People

Meet my wife, Satyam who is an HR Professional. She is a silver medalist and a topper throughout her academic life. Not only this, she is an amazing painter and a wonderful person.

For last one year, she is making youtube videos as a hobby for her youtube channel- satyam vlogs. She makes videos on Art, Home Decor DIYs, Fashion, Lifestyle, travel, etc. Her Saree Lookbook, Maxi dress lookbook, Earring or Shopping hauls will definitely brighten day of any girl next door. But the kind of response she gets is nothing compared to her efforts.

When I asked her whether she feels demotivated as despite consistently making quality videos, she is not getting a very good response which she deserves.
She replied, “I make videos because I love doing so. I am giving my best and I believe that one day, my videos will be helpful to millions of people out there. Most people get disheartened and quit midway without putting much effort. I am motivated by the vision I have.” 

Her response reminded me that:-

1. Successful people have a bigger picture in mind.
2. They are not affected by intermediate gain or loss as their focus is always on learning and doing their best in any situation.
3. Successful people know that overnight sensation is result of years of hard work and patience.

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When You lost And We Both Won

Raj said, " Check Mate... I defeated you in my first game of chess"

His Father, " Oh! Well done... I'm so proud of you.

After 15 years, Raj asked his dad, "How I could've defeated you as a kid in chess. You were a champion, Dad.

His dad smiled and said that you have not defeated me. I lost the match and we both won.

( Raj is a rising star in the world of chess and really his dad won even when he lost that one game of chess).

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Ten dirt simple hacks to say goodbye to "Over thinking"

1. Have your emotion for less people and things.
2. Don't get overtly attached to something or someone.
3. Success is temporary, failure is not permanent.
4. Have a 10 minutes daily ritual for overthinking at 8:00 PM.
5. Learn to be disciplined and teach your mind to overthink at 8:00 PM.
6. Channelize your overthinking into beautiful piece of art. Draw sketches, write poems, stories, fiction, etc. Get the creative juices flowing.
7. Be busy in meaningful things. Engage yourself constructively and there is no time for even that 8 PM daily ritual. Trust me!
8. Start giving back to people around you online, offline.
9. Don't expect anything from anyone. It's difficult yet possible.
10. The positive vibes you'll release now, travels to far off places, even thousand miles away to help, cheer and inspire others. And, when someone gets inspired, you get back the positivity spread by you, which is now ten times stronger that what you released.What goes around comes around getting stronger. (But, remember-S.No-9)

You can learn writing, blogging and storytelling tips at Writing is Painting . Read 100s of poems, hone your poetry skills by writing poems at Poignant Painter . This answer is part of the lessons learned while looking for patterns, Psychological Patterns.

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How Does Quora Decide Which Answers To Collapse?

Quora takes help of Artificial intelligence, aka Quora Bots to collapse answers. Now, let's know how the bot decides which answer to collapse.

• Quora Bot is just a robot and works as per guidelines fed into it.
• We all on Quora have a rank, people rank or something similar which is considered as our Trustworthiness.
• If I am a most viewed writer in a topic then I am allowed to post one liner there whereas my one line answers to topic- one liner used to be collapsed.
• It can be understood as Colgate and Polgate are selling identical toothpaste at same price yet, Nora buys Colgate and shoo Polgate away.
• I was also a Polgate and so I changed my product. I now don't answer in one word or one liner. This way, I have fewer issues with the Quora Bot which is ruthless.
• If the question asks for something in 1 line. Rohan Sinha's answer to How would you give life advise in a single line? I write 7 one liner to shoo Quora Bot. Now, guess...who is the boss? :P
• For example, in the snapshot you shared, you and another user answered, "Vile Parle". Your answer collapsed as your Quora rank in that topic might me less than the cutoff while the other quoran must have a rank higher that the cut off.

Based on Psychological Patterns: Insights from personal project to study human behaviour

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I Am Selfish

While studying Human Behaviour & Psychological Patterns , I found that I am one such selfish person who rarely do any selfless act. Even when my intention and activities are not harmful but the acts are sheer selfishness. It is a bit embarrassing but I will not go anonymous.

Hence, I've a different take on this question and rather than judging the selfish acts of others...let me share some of the selfish acts in my kitty.

On Girls- I treat others with respect because of "My sister". The self is still here. It became a habit and is not that selfish compared to my other acts.

• I respect stranger girls as I also expect others to respect my princess (sister)
• The Crime against women would be history if people treat other girls the same way they want their sisters to be treated.

On Healthy Competition- Everyone can grow together incl. me, so nothing selfless.

• Competitors are not enemies.
• Life is not always about winning.
• Rather than fighting against each other for a smaller pizza. Let's join hands to enlarge the pizza. Everyone will get a bigger share without fighting against each other. Win-Win Situation.

On Arguments- It's my selfish desire not to lose arguments/friendship

A friend asked something which I forgot to gave him on time. He snapped and was  angry on me. Rather than arguing,  justifying or replying back in same harsh tone, I cheerfully sent him what he wanted after some time. He apologized for his behaviour and was feeling guilty. When I look back, it was a selfish act on my part.

• I don't get into arguments. Because I neither have the desire nor the skills to win.
• I know that the friend might be upset over something and hence partly due to empathy and partly due to his friendship, I won't argue when he is angry.
• I know how to have put a difference in opinion in a non-offensive way and so I chose my own peace of mind rather over heated verbal argument. At least, if I did have argued and lost, he won't have felt guilty.

On helpful nature- A underlying thought that good breed good for everyone including me. Nothing selfless.

If you've come across me or my answers, you might be knowing that I am helpful. I am popular among seniors as well as colleagues or entry level employees because I offer to help even when no one asks.

That's also a selfish act. In many of my answers I have encouraged readers to ask their queries to me. Many people have asked me questions via personal message and unless I failed to notice a message, I would've helped. This gives an illusion that I am selfless.

I am helpful but not selfless.

• I don't expect anything from the person I helped.
• Still, I've strong evidence that "What goes around comes back stronger?" and my helpful attitude might have something to do with this.
• A Quora User sent me the compilation of excerpts from some of my quora answers along with personal remarks- Life is Beautiful. This post can be considered as a response to that.
• My brother is currently look for Job. My sister is in a dream company. It gave me an idea to start a platform- Career Consultant where queries from seeker can be answered by others who have the expertise. I give career advice on that blog and somewhere deep down within my heart, I feel that the good wishes of those who get benefited might help my brother's luck who is already so positive even after going through so much struggle. He has been  looked down upon by others but failed to give up is surely an Inspiration for people looking for a job.

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This is based on recurring patterns from my own behaviour.

The result was surprising for me as I never knew that I was selfish until I found out it some days ago. I learned that all my acts are selfish. Good thing is that my sefish acts are not so mean as I focus on higher motives.

I do things that do good for large audience-still these acts are selfish act. Only, good thing is that these acts are positive in nature and unknowingly create positive vibes in and around.

Help me know your views about this. Don't you agree that these are selfish acts and we all have to go a long way to do selfless acts.

I have never done any single selfless act. If you have done any then do share with me if you don't mind. Please help me on this project.

I will post about the lessons learned on Psychological Patterns

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This is second post under the Theme- Shattering Myths- which is part of a personal project to study Human Behaviour & Psychological Patterns

First Post-Shattering Myth- Why I discriminate against my Sister?

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Best Discoveries You Made In Life

1. Be Interesting.
2. Be mysterious. The less the world knows about you, the more they carve to know.
3. Solve problems. You'll be loved for being a problem solver.
4. Don't show off. It turns off people.
5. Achieve something difficult to support your expertise..
6. Don't try to complicate things. Being Simple has become so uncommon that it amuses others while making your life easier.
7. Analyse your biggest problems and brainstorm over them. You will have a psychological advantage when you meet others crippled with the same worries.
8. Do great things and keep a low profile, let your work make the noise.
9. Ask thoughtful questions that enriches the discussion, you'll be respected for that.
10. Think in terms of the value you add. Be valuable to any group/team you're a part of.
11. Be such that people would love to go to war with you on their side.
12. Arrogance is the biggest turn off.
13. Don't try to impress. Nobody is interested in you. Help them in someway knowingly or unknowingly and then they would admire you.

These are 13 of out hundreds of psychological patterns I validated through various activities and experiments. It is based on my study of human behaviour to find psychological patterns. Psychological Hacks: Insights from secret personal project to study human behaviour [Pattern Series-1/11] by Rohan Sinha on Psychological Patterns

Read more on Psychological Patterns

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Most Common Life Mistakes People make in 20s

Most Common Life Mistakes

I have failed, I envy others. Nothing is permanent. Failures are commas not full stop. A girl failed to get Science as she got less marks in Class Xth and hence she opted for Commerce. Many frowned upon her. Today, I got to know that she did LLB and after than did her Masters from Europe and has got an hefty offer. I work for the largest Construction company in India and make a little less than half of her salary. 

Although Money, College, Job, etc are poor benchmark of success yet I have used money as a benchmark just to give an idea about how the society judges us. Never envy others and learn to appreciate others when they achieve something good. She is a wonderful person and I am happy that many will be inspired to know about her.

I am waiting for the perfect moment- There is nothing called perfect moment. Try to get the maximum out of whatever you have. Minimize Procrastination, and never wait for the perfect moment. Life happens when we wait for the perfect moment.

It has been too late to learn or take charge of our life- It is never too late to learn and improve our life. Do you feel that you have not achieved enough at say 21 years. Let me share about APJ Abdul kalam. He was a popular scientist but he became world famous after he was chosen as India's president at the age of 70 years. He was literally unknown till 70 years of age. 

Charles Darwin, yes from your Biology Textbook was considered as Insane as till 50 years of age, according to people he was a wanderer. He was doing research and when he published his book after 50 years of age, he started getting recognition. 

Albert Einstein has worked as a Clerk but that didn't prevented him from becoming a great scientist of all time.

I don't have zeal to learn- Larry Page invented Google and it became a dream company for many people.  He just followed his passion. May be he was also not having the zeal to learn or work on the traditional subjects. So he created something new.

Our Problems are terribly difficult- Our problems are not as difficult as it seems to us. 20 years down the line it will hardly matter if you got a plum job after college or you are jobless, if you have a gf/bf or not in college, if you have failed in the exams or have topped it. Meet me after 20 years and we will discuss your current problems over coffee.

I am Good for Nothing-  Everything in this universe is for some purpose. Crocodile cannot fly and Butterfly cannot swim. There is no point for the crocodile to feel bad that he cannot fly or the butterfly to feel bad for not being able to swim. Doesn't it makes sense. Same is with all of us. We just need to identify things which makes us happy.  

I have wasted X years of my life- We feel that we have wasted our life but you know, nothing is wasted in this world. Do you know the story of bamboo tree?  It doesn’t show sign of growth in first four- five years. But, in the next one year it will grow rapidly. Now, the reality is that the growth doesn't occur only in one year, it happens over a period of 5-6 years. 

During the first 5 years the growth of roots is happening and the foundation is getting stronger which let the bamboo to grow rapidly in last one year. Same is with all of us. We just need six months to a year to have a visible growth. All the years before that are definitely not wasted. Believe me.  Good experience gives you joy, bad experience build your character and personality. So, they both are equally important.  

I don't have Natural Talent-  Galileo told that the earth moves around the sun. But at that time, Everyone  felt that he was wrong and people wanted to kill him. Everyone knew that  Earth was fixed and sun revolved around the earth, which was later proved wrong . Galileo was considered as a mad man all his life. The poor chap got all the recognition after his death. Even today all our textbooks are full with works of  Galileo. 

Not only him, Abraham Lincoln was unable to win even a local election, all his life he failed in whatever he did. He failed more than us for sure and see one day he became the president of US. It was not luck but hard work. Remember the bamboo story. See it's working.   

It will not work out- Follow your heart and chase your dreams as they are worth it. There is nothing which can't work out even when the idea looks ridiculous to others. The key is that you must believe in the idea, that’s it. 

In India, almost everyone loves cricket and is a cricket commentator. But, that doesn't stopped Harsha Bhogle from becoming a full time Cricket Commentator after his post graduation from IIM Ahmadabad. He must have been mocked for his choice of profession but he had passion for it and he pursued something he loved doing. If you are a Movie Buff - You can be an expert reviewer and can also earn and get paid for watching movies and writing reviews.

I am at a Disadvantage-  Disability is the inability to know ability. Read out the lessons from so-called disadvantaged girls, Virali Modi,  Miss Wheelchair India 2014, Runner Up  and Ira Singhal, Differently abled UPSC Topper .  Rohan Sinha's answer to When is it advantageous to be disadvantaged?

I don't give a damn to People- The world is all about people. Make sure to be nice and respectful to others. Always strive to add value to the life of others. Never let good people go out of your sight. Thanks for your time.  :)

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