When I Think about myself?

• I start thinking about myself when I see or perceive danger.
• I start thinking about myself when I feel my integrity is at stake or I could lose my reputation.
• I start thinking about myself when I am not well.
• I start thinking about myself when I am happy.
• I start thinking about myself when I am writing as it is a mirror of who I am.
• I start thinking about myself when I don't get what I deserve.
• I start thinking about myself when I get what I don't deserve.

Some hymn which I have chanted all my school life,

Humko man ki sakti dena, man vijay kare, Durso ki jay se pahele khud ki jay kare. 

English Translation of the above hymn will not give the correct feel and so I am borrowing a similar phrase "Always wear your own oxygen mask, before helping others."

 

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When Tragedy strikes then real character comes on Surface- A Sad Story

(Originally written on 08th Aug,15)

The  operation for Kidney stone was successful, everyone was happy  but before gaining consciousness she died of heart attack.

---

When Tragedy strikes then real character comes on Surface

Feeling very sad to hear about the demise of a close friend of my Mom. My Mom was inconsolable and I couldn't do anything. I felt weak, fragile and vulnerable. Her friend's daughter was to get married in this November but she left. I stay away from my family and these kind of incidents make me feel terribly bad.

All my cover of being an optimistic person tears apart and goes for a six when reality strikes. Aunt was really a nice lady and very jovial. She chatted with Mom on Whatsapp yesterday in the morning and was doing well. I can understand how my Mom is feeling when she told that last Saturday they met for ( Savan Milan) a get together with all other Kitty Party Members  . I don't know how to console my Mom. What should I do? I don't even know how should I console myself. I am feeling guilty of ignoring people in real life and spending most of the spare time, online. I was talking to Zora the other day and she echoed the same sentiment that we should spend more time with real people. 

May God give strength to her family and with this answer I am gonna take a break to figure out what matters in Life? Why I am working so hard? Why I am writing tireless for last 2 months? Am I doing any good to anyone or I am making a fool of myself. Why I am writing? I am admitting that I started to dream of becoming a Top- Writer on Quora? Was I wrong in thinking about that? I don't know but at least, it's time to take some time out and get back after making my priorities straight, Bye for now.

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Words of Wisdom (Part-1) Thoughts which made me believe that Life is Beautiful

Photo-  My Pocket Diaries

I had a very simple habit of jotting down thoughts or ideas in my pocket diaries. It was a wonderful exercise which I practiced when I was in college and during my initial years at Job. This was done to ensure that I don’t miss a wonderful thought or idea. I have recently come across my old journals, pocket diaries, etc and am delighted to see that many things are worth sharing with you all.

I got the inspiration for the same from a quote I read somewhere that a brilliant idea never strikes again like lightening doesn’t strike the same place twice.

So, here I am presenting the thoughts/ideas with date when it was jotted down in my pocket diary. I hope the readers will be glad to see the genesis of this blog and can learn many wonderful words of Wisdom. I am expressing my heartfelt gratitude for all the events and activities of my life which provoked such thoughts; here you may also find inspirational quotes that I had read or heard at that point of time. Most of the ideas and thought are original but the quotes may be from somewhere like (Movies, Article, Interactions or Videos which touched my heart to the point that I wrote about it in my pocket diary)

Ø  My Personal Statement: I have to make the best use of my time and energy ( 07.11.2009)

Ø  Life is the best teacher (11.11.2009)

Ø  Never hurt a heart that loves you because wounded hearts are crushed flowers that never bloom again (11.11.2009)

Ø  Slow and steady wins the race. (12.11.2009)

Ø  Do your best and leave the rest for God. (12.11.2009)

Ø  I have to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind (21.11.2009)

Ø  Hey Suraj Bhaiya, after talking to you, I am feeling confident that I can do it. I was very scared of the Paper before talking to you. Thanks! (23.11.2009) [Remarks- This was the night before one Paper of 5^th Semester! I couldn’t believe that I was so scared.]

Ø  After Exam, I have to make a plan to lift the quality of my life. I have to make goals for Career, Health, Family, Personal, etc. (28.11.2009)

Ø  No demands, No complains (28.11.2009) [I think it’s from Movie, Ajab Prem ki gajab kahani]

Ø  I was nice to listen to listen to Interview of Rajat Sharma of Aap Ki Adalat Fame on Radio FM. (29.11.2009)

Ø  What does l learn from this? Effective people ask “What?” questions. E.g. - What can I do to make things better in 24 hours? Never ask Why me? Why now? etc. (05.12.2009)

Ø  I may be the best or at least better than many but I am never the worst ( Ancient saying by the child prodigy, Nachiketa) (05.12.2009)

Ø  I want to see my parents happy forever. (05.12.2009)

Ø  Those things that hurt instruct. (05.12.2009)

Ø  Tell yourself good things about you. (07.12.2009)

Ø  Go as far as you see. When you get there, you will be able to see further. (07.12.2009)

Ø  Don’t hesitate to shower your unconditional love & care to your loved ones. (09.12.2009)

Ø  I will make my siblings to learn English in the best possible way. (26.12.2009)

Ø  Speak less, Listen more; Listen less Observe more. (14.03.2010)

Ø  Today, my brother told that his exam goes well when he talks with me before the exam. I think that’s the best compliment I have ever received. (25.03.2010) [ It is with reference to my brother’s 12^th Board Exam]

Ø  Do the things you fear and fear will disappear (25.03.2010)

Ø  Somebody is living because you are living. (29.03.2010)

Ø  Do a little favour to somebody without expecting anything in lieu. (05.04.2010)

Ø  No matter what happens, control the outcome, it’s on you. (Quote from the movie Never Back down). (06.04.2010)

Ø  Stay positive and optimistic, observe and analyze, (06.04.2010)

Ø  Give your attention to the minute details ( Inspiration from Sherlock Homes) (06.04.2010)

Ø  Every day is a new day. Wasting time on useless things is really stupid (12.04.2010) [After thought of an unwanted argument with a friend in college. I don’t remember the reason of the argument though the lesson is worth it]

Ø  My family has high hopes with me.  (18.04.2010) [Remarks- No one tell me thing..this is my assumption which gets me going]

Ø  Happy Marriage Anniversary to Mummy & Papa (18.04.2010)

Ø  Electronic Junk is increasing day by day. It has vast opportunity which can be trapped. (18.04.2010) [ After though of meaningful discussion with the same friend with whom I had an argument on 12,04.2010]

Ø  Tomorrow, I have the Heat Transfer (HT) Paper from 08:00 AM. But, I haven’t covered most of the syllabus. Have to make the most of tonight. [ These humble thought came at 6:41 AM on 20.04.2010]

Ø  The HT paper was terribly bad. Many questions were out of syllabus and I found it very difficult to solve questions. I think I will pass the exam with “D” grade, i.e. (40-49 marks out of 100). ( After thoughts of the exam on 21.04.2010).

[Remarks- That exam taught something really important. I had just put the last 12-13 hours before the exam to consolidate whatever I learned during the semester. When I saw the questions, I understood that I am going to fail as I thought that the paper was tough only for me. But, when I saw similar expressions on the faces of our toppers, then I realized that many questions are out of syllabus. I knew one thing that for failing me in this exam, the teacher has to fail at least 95% of the students. After that, I don’t know what happened, but I got the inspiration to try each and every question and I put my best efforts. Finally I got “B” grade, i.e. 70-79 out of 100. Grades are not important but the experience is really what matters.]

To be continued (it’s only the tip of the iceberg)…………..

If you have enjoyed read more on this blog Life is Beautiful

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Lessons from a Bad Mentor will make your life more beautiful

Photo Credit- http://www.wsj.com

I am not here to hide the truer version of me…which is pretty human like many of you!  At times, I do get disappointed, frustrated, sad, helpless and upset. Even most sophisticated machines have break downs; I am just a simple and ordinary person. But, I know one thing that I try really hard to bounce back getting better with each hurdle.

Life is a hurdle race; it is a roller coaster ride. Unfortunately, people only see our highs and lows, but they have no idea what have we done in between those extremes.  I believe that the real journey is the one between our own lows and highs. It is a very adventurous journey. We see and learn many new things about ourselves during that journey. 

Now, these humble thoughts came when I realized how bad a mentor I am. It is frustrating at times to do mentoring. You feel helpless. You may experience that nothing is working. You are failing to connect with the one whom you are mentoring. It is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Now, I can understand why Rahul Dravid, star Indian cricketer, now coach of Rajasthan Royals in IPL, was telling that coaching is a very difficult job, a different ball game all together. It drains you emotionally when you fail to inspire and get the desired result despite your sincere efforts.  

I want to be more calm and composed but sometimes, I just couldn’t hold my displeasure. I am a bad mentor as I couldn’t grow as a mentor despite an experience of more than 15 years from a very tender age.  Now, from this moment, I am determined to transform myself into an amazing mentor. When I look deeper to find ways to do so, I find the following things:

Key points for those who are Mentoring

v  Your main job is to inspire not to teach- My English tutor, my Sanskrit tutor and my teachers at kota taught me many subjects but what they truly did was that they inspired me.  Then have given me the confidence to follow my dreams. They made me believe in myself. They deployed innovative ways to teach which made learning fun and enjoyable. All elements of Periodic Table were on our finger tip as my In-organic chemistry teacher had made a song for them like Zanabe Ali ne bekar gaaya Punjabi song aaj sab bhikari Indore gaye ( This song is for all those elements which act as metal and non-metal- Zn, Al, Pb, … oh!..... I forgot others)

v  Motivate and encourage- Sometimes, I tell negative things in frustration to those I really want to help. This makes me feel pathetic later when I regret doing so. A good mentor is like an all weather friend who will go out of the way to come up with interesting and creative ways to inspire. They will always boast your confidence. They will make you feel comfortable and you will feel empowered in their company. They always motivate and encourage without getting affected by anything else.

  

v  Never lose temper- I am a bad mentor as I often break down when things are not moving as  planned. But, to be a good mentor, you need to be more patient and should never ever lose temper. Everyone is unique and all are capable to achieve anything they want in life. Your job as a mentor is to get them into Flow (Must Read about Flow). Encourage them to do things that makes them happy ( See my list of 19 things which makes me happy and then make yourlist).

v  Be more compassionate – Everyone is special and unique. Different things motivate different people. If you can inspire them then they will achieve more than you would expect. My English Tutor made me so passionate about writing articles that I used to daily write 5-6 pieces of writing and I can sense the joy my tutor used to get from seeing me taking initiatives on my own.  He used to rate my articles on a scale of 1 to 10.

  

 My journey was amazing from getting 5.5/10 to 8.5/10. I am sure, he was proud on me. One day in my passion for writing more and more articles, I made many mistakes in my articles, he explained the mistakes and didn’t rated the articles as he didn’t wanted to de-motivate me. Hats off to you, sir, Respect! I am writing about ratings and marks, but they were only a benchmark where, I was competing with myself. It was one of the best phases of my life.

v  Win support and trust of the pupil- Keep finding new ways to explain something so that they can relate.  Encourage your pupils to play on their strengths and overcome weaknesses. Win their support and trust, so that they can share their feelings with you without any inhibition. It will enable you to understand the needs of the pupil. Otherwise, you cannot prescribe the correct medicine for them without them explaining their correct requirement. So, as a mentor the onus is on you to get your pupils speak to you.

Key Points for those getting Mentored

v  Communication skills- Clearly explain what you feel or want to learn from your mentor. Unless you communicate properly, the mentor is not god that he/she can understand what’s going on in your mind

v  Lack of interest- If the mentor fails to motivate you and you are lacking interest then let your mentor know about it. Good mentor welcome feedback and they can find out ways to help you overcome this.

v  Not paying any attention to mentor’s advice- Let you mentor know what you feel about his/her advise. Mentors give advice for your betterment; if you can’t accept it for any reason, let them know about it politely with the reason. They will understand and will find a solution with is acceptable to you.

v  Get determination and will power to get into FLOW- No one can help you without your permission. Even, Gods help those who help themselves. So, understand that your mentor is just a human and will require your support in order to help you. Discuss your problems openly with your mentor. Don’t shy away. If the mentor is not co-operating then it is high time to get a new mentor, who is more understanding.  And most important thing, to put your best efforts to get into FLOW by strong determination and will power.

v  Keep Learning and pleasantly surprise the mentor- You must keep learning always. If you are not enjoying the journey then relax and reassess your goals. Then, find ways to keep learning in a way that it is fun.  And, most important thing, more often pleasantly surprise your mentor and make them feel proud on you. And, don’t forget very soon you have to be a MENTOR for someone and then you will realize their pain when you don’t respond to their efforts!! As a kid, I have made the life of my first tutor very difficult by throwing tantrums every now and then. Probably it’s time payback time for me as I find myself in his shoes.

Now, I am winding up on a lighter note with the famous lines from a Bollywood movie which says that “ Aadmi ko apne bure karmo ki saza issi janam me bhugatni hoti hai ( People have to pay  the price of this bad deeds in this life itself) ”

By- Rohan Sinha

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No Place for Parents: An Open Letter to all those who find their parents as a burden

Kind Attention- All those blessed souls who find their parents as a burden

Dear Friend,

Please provide me the answers for the following TEN questions which are troubling me a lot for quite some time:

1. I feel old people are very sensitive like young children. They must be given proper attention, lots of love and respect. How they will feel if they don’t get this?

2. Forget about love & respect, but what will happen to them if they will have lots of worry, no one speaks to them at home with love & relations are not pleasant at home?

3. Lots of worry will attracts Blood Pressure, Heart problem & god knows what. Whom shall we held responsible for murder of old people in this fashion? One of our friend recently killed his father by following this very method, it’s really effective.

4. One just has to neglect one’s parents, STOP talking to them, etc. to dig the grave for one’s parents. Can you help me nab people on these grounds?

5. Will my attitude for my parents change after my marriage? Why does it happen? Do the parents change? Do I hold my wife responsible? Or I AM THE CULPRIT.

6. Will I also fight with my brother, sister & parents. I will not, I will make myself capable to purchase house & acquire property on my own. I will leave it to my parents to decide what they what to do with their properties? This is their own property. They have made it by their hard work, sweat & blood and have not inherited from our grandfathers. So, morally & legally, my parents should only decide, what to do of their properties?

7. I know, it sounds impractical & immature as per prevailing standards, but I will inform my would-be wife regarding my decision of no interest in acquiring inherited property from parents. At the end of our journey, money doesn’t matters. No one will take their house with them to heaven. I don’t want any property or money from my parents. Please help me to be practical.

8. When parents forgave millions of mistake done by me when I was a child, why can’t I forgive few of their mistakes when they will be old?

9. Why someone must not get mad at me, discontinue any relations with me, if I will abuse my old parents?

10. All said and done, who will guaranty that I WILL NOT ASSAULT MY PARENTS. My WIFE will not HATE my parents & I will not make their OLD days miserable? And what if I give them lots of worries and KILL them, then will I be able to forgive myself?

I am shocked by the statistics of assault against parents. Every 1 in 3 family is assaulting old people. I am going to take this issue seriously. I don’t want my brothers, sisters, cousins to ever do anything like that. I need your support to this cause. I have decided to escalate this issue to every level. I will write to newspapers, social blogs, media, social networking , will go from home to home to demonstrate & motivate people to stop assaulting their old parents for WHAT SO EVER be the reason.

Please understand that old people are very sensitive and they only need love and continuous care. They have plenty of free time so if they will have any worry then that has the potential to kill them. Hope you will support your co-operation to this cause. I am looking forward for your response & necessary action.

Thanks

A Concerned Indian

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Life is Beautiful: My advice to a Software Engineer looking for his first Job

Photo Credit- http://data.crazyengineers.com/

It’s absolutely OK not to get a job in college as many colleges don’t have good placement facility. This doesn’t mean that those software engineers cannot excel in life. I want to share with you all that Campus Placement is a buzz word only in India and that too from last 10-15 years. In fact, Colleges like Harvard and Cambridge also do not arrange or assure campus placement. Students have to find job on their own. Colleges are there to provide a platform to the students to be strong enough that they can find jobs on their own.

Although, I should not be allowed to write about it as when, I was about to chose a college then Placement opportunity was a major criterion. Now, I can only say that, it was a bit immature. Why I am saying all this is because of what I have seen over years.

Many of my classmates who were not placed during campus selection have got jobs in higher paying companies through competitive exams. Some of them started their career from relatively unknown companies and have switched to jobs with better package and are earning more than most of those who got placed in campus.

There are more than a dozen people I know from my family or friend circle who have carved an opportunity on their own after not getting placed in campus. Believe me, the struggle they did with patience paid off and they are doing exceedingly well in life. Their career is much better than most of those who were placed in campus.

Please follow the following steps to find your first job. If you have anything else to add then please reply in the comment section.

1.    Update your Resume, Cover Letter and profile on Job Portals like Naukri, Monster, etc.

2.    Polish your profile on LinkedIn. Connect with people who are working in companies you want to work for. Also, add your professors, your friends and your family members working in Software companies. This will let you leverage the connections of all the people you know.

3.    Network with people in software companies on Quora and learn from valuable discussions. Read Question & Answers on Quora to learn about any topic.

4.    Learn Java/ Dot Net/ PHP/ Python/ DBMS. Enroll in a course from a reputed Institute.

5.    Build a project and add technologies used on your Profiles on Job Portals and LinkedIn. Also, give prominence to the project in your resume.

6.    Move to an IT Hub like Bangalore, Hyderabad, Pune, etc and register on local consultancies so that they can notify you whenever any there is an opening. Few consultancies in Bangalore are Adecco India, Career Net, IKYA Human Capital, Randsand India, Team Lease, Zyoin, etc.

7.    Give online Tests on indiabix, gpl4you, freshersworld, etc regarding the aptitude and reasoning.

8.    Prepare for Interview and Group Discussion by giving Mock Interview\GD. Also, read about the interview experience of other people as we can learn from others and prepare ourselves in a better way.

9.    Interact with People on LinkedIn and Quora to get your doubts clarified.

10.  Target startups/ emerging companies rather than running behind big names.

11. However, must attend Career Fair and Off- Campus drives conducted by several companies.

12. Keep applying for jobs on LinkedIn and Job Portals. Also, pay heed to the job openings as informed by the local consultancies.

13. You can consider an option of working as an intern for a startup on one of their live project. It will help you in your career.

14. Take Tests like E-Litmus/ AMCAT. These tests provide score and companies call candidates for job interview based on these scores.

Some things you must keep in mind:

1.    Improve your Immunity and take care of your physical, mental and emotional well being. Stay positive and trust me this struggle will make you very strong and hence will prepare you to handle difficult situation. It is actually a blessing in disguise.

2.    You have a strong family support. So, you need not bother about anything except getting passionate about software engineering.

3.    You will feel proud on yourself for getting a job on your own. Struggle of 1-2 years is nothing in our career spanning over close to 40 years. Feel relaxed and focus on becoming better and better with time.

4.    Focus on the learning opportunity not on the salary. It is better to get 10K per month for a role of JAVA Developer than getting 15K at a tech support or BPO job. Try to get into software development because, if you developed an interest in that then you are going to dictate terms in future.

5.    Never regret for past but work in the present to create a wonderful future. Don't forget that your life is beautiful.

6.    Acquire Flow. Flow is a state when you are so involved in an activity that you don’t get much distracted and you enjoy the process very much.  

7.    Enjoy the journey and count your blessings. There may be 10 reasons to be upset but there are 1000 reasons to be happy.

8.    Stay hungry Stay Foolish. Develop a passion for software development and jobs will run behind you.

9.    Like Rancho has told in 3 Idiots, “ Kamayab nahi kabil bano, Kamyabi Jhak maar ke aayegi” ( Be Talented and success will follow you)

Happy Job Hunting!!

BY- Rohan Sinha

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Permanent Roommates: Personal Notes to all my 7 Roommates

Photo via Wikipedia

It is dedicated to all the 7 roommates who came in my life. When you came in my room, we not only shared our room but also our life. We had shared joy and sorrow. You were a stranger when you came in my life but then we became lifelong friends. I will not share the names as I want to see if my roommates are able to recognize themselves or not. I know they will, but still sometime staying anonymous is a good thing.

Roommate No-1- Our friendship is very dramatic, we were not liking each other initially, go in flashback and try to remember. I am grateful to my Uncle (Mamaji) who made me realize how to treat our roommate. I was staying away from my family for the first time and so were you.  We were immature then and at least I felt that we both were a bit reserved. But, after overcoming some initial hiccups, there was no going back. We were the best friends forever. I am grateful that you came to my life as a roommate. We shared so much joy and sorrow together.

I remember the help provided to me during Board exams by you and your younger brother. You were a family member for me. You helped me or almost made a fantastic project for my Physics Lab Exam. I scored a full 30/30 due to that but forget to say thank you then. So, thank you for that.  I want to remind you of that unknown aunty who showed us the carrot of allowing us to stay in their under construction house after It was to be constructed and how we felt when we realized that they had some other plans. Hope all is good at your home. Convey my best regards to Aunty and Uncle and love to our brother and sister.

Roommate No-2- We first met in our first hostel, KP-4. I think room number was 3C-408. You came with your Mom and I was with my parents and my cousin who was in the same college. I have quickly developed a very strong bond with you. All our assignments of first year have seen light of day just because of you. You were very sincere and friendly. We have given you names that you must have enjoyed! So, the man woman (not one woman man), remember this! You are a very good person and I always cherish the time spent with you. Miss you! Pardon me for not keeping in touch more often. Convey my regards to your parents whom I met couple of times. We really enjoyed all the movies you brought from the Market (Our Mechanical Guys).

Roommate No-3- You were someone whom I consider a friend as well as a role model. I have learned a lot from you.  You were so sharp that you would study at the last moment to clear the exam with flying colours. You were from a different league altogether and we were fortunate to have you as a friend. I cherish all those memories and hope you will also forgive me for not keeping in touch so often. But, I want to tell you that everyone in my family knows that you are very sharp because of the numerous times, I have told them about your prowess. I had meaningful interactions with your Mom and request you to convey my warm regards to her.  Dude! Like you, I am here short of words to express my fondness of you. Forgive me for that! Meet soon or I will be there to have some fun together.

Roommate No-4- You are a very good friend and it has been long time since we last spoke a couple of years ago. Dude! I have sent you couple of messages on Facebook and haven’t heard from you. Be ready for my banging, once I meet you soon as I have heard that you have just come to Mumbai.  You were very hard working and were a study partner throughout our college days. I cherish those times, when we spent more time in reading rooms than in our rooms.

The summer training we did together was a wonderful experience and I really enjoy those moments now when we have to wake up at 4:00 AM in the morning to catch the train scheduled at 5:00 PM and finally after using an auto, train, Jeep/ Bus and Rickshaw, we would reach at 10:00 AM, just to learn whatever we could and quickly plan to move out by 4:00 PM to reach our homes at around 9:30 PM.  Convey my heartfelt regards to your elder brother and parents.

Roommate No-5- Dude! We are proud on you. You were smart and have always worked hard. We have fond memories of you.  It is good that you are able to speak up your mind on sticky matters also. It was a very good experience with you and what about Guitar?  You really played well and you were a big fan of the Movie, Rock on, which we watched together. You must have become a very good Guitarist by now. You have tremendous potential and good luck to you for all your future endeavors. Have to talk to you a lot about what are the new hobbies you have developed over these years. IIM must have been a very good learning experience for you. Hope everyone is doing well at your home. Do keep in touch always.

Roommate No-6- You are a very simple and kind hearted person. I admire your simplicity.  You are an odd one out of all my roommates. You are from a southern state with a different background altogether but how well we have bonded is truly amazing. I am nothing compared to your qualities as an amazing human being. Now, you have been a partner in our mission to drink Milk daily. It is possible only because you will purchase the milk, you will boil it, you will clean the pan used to boil Milk, you will arrange for supplementary items like sugar, bananas etc and what I will do, only drink it and share the expenses.

I feel bad that I am not contributing in this entire process but I will find ways to pay you back in some other ways as I feel indebted.  Having said that, you are someone who can serve selflessly, I try to match but I can’t match your selflessness. I call you Bhaiya (Elder brother) because you are a few years elder to me and very mature. You are a rare gem who should be in Museum for generations to see and learn!!

Roommate No-7- You are born smart! I like your confidence and your approach very much. You are a very good human being who can speak the truth. I am not that good in giving true feedback because I am so concerned with the other person. I always look forward to you whenever I need any genuine feedback. I will not bore you much as I have already acknowledged your importance in my life separately here Permanent Roommate No 07- It was the best thing you did to me yesterday. 

Also, I want to let you know that I really like your family members and have developed good bonding with your parents. Your parents are very down to earth and very friendly. I am really glad that your parents came to our house warming function to grace the occasion. Kindly let them know what I feel about them.

Come let’s meet someday and relive those wonderful moments once again. 

BY- Rohan Sinha

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