When was the first time you were discriminated for being a female?

My sister has been discriminated so many times for her gender that I forgot when was the first time I discriminated against her. Before killing me by tearing into pieces,  keep reading.

Hello everyone, I want to spill the beans for one and all. I want to show the other side of my personality which is somehow not getting reflected in my writings.

Recently, I came across sentences from girls like "I'm not close to my Father" "I'm not close to my brother" "My trip got cancelled because my father said No." "My Father wanted a son and we are trying to prove him wrong". All this saddens me as by the end of this post you'll know how people like me are responsible for alleviating those feelings.

I am programmed to be interested in only serious lifelong relationship.

Don't judge a person by what he says...just notice his deeds.

Action speaks louder than words. I always feel that we often fail to give a correct picture about ourselves or any situation and so, I'm going to disappoint some of the people.

You only know what someone is willing to tell. I interact occasionally with some girls here and I don't even have an iota of idea about who are they? I've made it a point to keep the discussions intellectual and I'm glad that I never asked personal questions to anyone.

You know why? Because, they are also somebody's sister and I was never interested in the things people of my age do. I'm weird as per the standards and that's my strength as well as weakness. May be that's why I always had only a few friends....but true lifelong friends.

You know how- I love my sister beyond any measure and I write a lot about her. Still, I discriminate with her for her gender. I am sharing excerpts from "Rohan Sinha's answer to Why do some men hate feminists?

How she is getting discriminated by her own brother?

• I am partial- I love my sister a little more than my brother. A portion of my saving each month goes to a separate account to buy an expensive gift for my sister on her wedding. That's another thing that when she will be my age, she would earn way more than me because of a start with a salary more than double of mine. Still, I'm his brother, it's my love, ego, pride to gift something grand to her.
• What a hypocrite I am? You can understand the  dilemma between the love of a brother and the his belief that exchange of expensive gifts in cash or kinds on Wedding is Dowry. :( I never plan anything for my wedding or my brother's wedding. I hate to have a fat wedding for myself but I would not mind arranging one for my sister. You might not understand.
• Double Standards for boys and girls-I worry when my sister travel alone or even when she is with her friends but I am least bothered about my brother when he travels. Two weeks ago, I tactfully convinced her not to go to Infosys, Mysore to meet her friends. Your father or brother might have bluntly cancelled your trip. For us, she cancelled it on her own. We don't take decisions on her behalf but are definitely guilty of influencing her.
• Do you want to know what happened when she called at 8:30 AM morning to tell Dad that she wants to go with all college friends to Mysore. She is already new in Bangalore.
• Dad told, "Are you informing or asking for permission?"
• She replied, "Asking for permission..will come by night."
• Dad said, "Ok, go as at last moment you're telling and I can't say NO"
• Then I took the phone and I made her realize how she will get tired by covering it in one day.
• She replied that Neha was telling to stay. She will talk in Infosys.
• Me- No..no...don't stay...why don't you go tomorrow 6'o clock so that you have some time to explore mysore in your one day trip.
• Today, i.e. Saturday, go to a mall, buy watch that I have to gift you on your birthday.
• She asked, "Should I go or not?"
• Me- Resha, you're already grown up and have started working also. Have we ever stopped you from doing anything. Just we told so as you're new to Bangalore and even your friends can come to Bangalore.
• So, we left her to decide on her trip. She didn't went to Mysore. I felt extremely guilt when I heard the group cancelled the trip itself.
• With remorse, I kept calling her to casually check if she was upset or angry.Surprisingly, she was not angry or upset at all.
• After coming from the Mall, at around 4, she told that it was a really hot day and it was good that we didn't went to Mysore.
• Agreeing to elders is not bad, always :P
• Had my brother told to go to Mysore, we wouldn't have bothered much. This clearly shows how my sister has been discriminated for her gender by his selfish brother.
• But, he don't give a damn being stereotyped as bad because he knew what he was doing and for whom he was doing.
• Until, he's assured of her Safety, even God can't prevent him from supporting her/stopping her without making her feel at disadvantage.
• He has already planned that soon he would book a cab for her and her friends for their Mysore Trip that got cancelled because of him.
• She is our princess but I try to make sure that I don't infringe her space-
• When my brother doesn't pick calls and Mom panics, I tell her 100 reasons not to worry.
• But, when my sister doesn't pick call, I go restless and I call everyone from her friends to hostel warden to the Administrative officer. ( PS- I was in the same college so I know many people)
• This month it happened again when Mom got a call from her office . My Mom couldn't pick up what he said on phone due to his thick accent and her being not so accustomed to English communication.
• Now, Mom called me, her commander-in-chief, to inform that my sister was not picking up calls.
• I replied, "She told me in the morning that she has 3 meetings today-maybe that's why she is not picking up the phone". I told Mom that I'll try to call and text her.
• Mom called after 5 minutes and was still worrying because of the call from her office. She was not knowing that it was a call for background check.
• So, to release her worry. I told a white lie that I spoke to her and she is busy in meeting now. Hmmm... Mom was relieved but just after hanging the phone, I started worrying...why she is not picking calls and my sister called later to tell her phone was in silent.

I've gone through the comments on my answer where I've been labeled as an ideal brother. I'm no way close to that as you must have seen...In-fact now I feel cunning also for tactfully cancelling my sister's trip. But, I feel and mean every word when I wroteRohan Sinha's answer to Which are some of the most amazing stories ever?

Excerpts from this answer which came out direct from the heart and is my most upvoted and commented post ever in life.

My parents wanted a daughter when my brother born

Mom says that girls complete a family. Boys and girls are both equally important. So true!

She is youngest in the family and is the apple of everyone's eye. She is our angel, our lucky charm.

Girls are expressive. She credited me and my brother for her success but I failed to tell her that my thought process is a gift of having an amazing sister. I respect stranger girls as I also expect others to respect my princess.

I don't find the stereotypical jokes on women with the message "Women are dumb" funny anymore.

The Crime against women would be history if people treat other girls the same way they want their sisters to be treated.

PS- I wrote this for many of the girls who followed me for that answer. As you have unknowingly felt that I am someone who don't discriminate against girls. Apologies for the confusion...I'm such an idiot who even discriminates against his sister. And you're a stranger. What can you expect from me? Please read "Rohan Sinha's answer to Why do some men hate feminists? and do un-follow  me.

I've a satisfaction that I have given a broader picture of my bonding with my sister. It's real, strong and a guiding light for my all other female relationships. I sincerely wish this might change the perspective of at least one girl who has a negative feeling for her father/brother.

It's dedicated to your brother, who is not that tactful in conveying things. I told in a meeting that " It's not about what you say but how you say to have an impact. Telling right things at the right time at the right place is a game changer."

Why I answered this question?

When I meet people who discriminate against having a girl child. I tell them, how I and my sister have got equal opportunities and she has optimized the chances she got far better than me. After she got into INTEL, I was the first person whom she called, even before Mom and Dad. She touches my heart in ways that I never expect.

If my sister can love a brother who discriminates against her, I'm sure you have what it takes to make your Dad and brother feel proud on you. Never back down, no matter what happens, you can always control the outcome.

Don't allow the discrimination against you to make you bitter. Be so sweet that even, those who discriminate feel remorseful for this act.

People do change for good...you just need some patience and belief in yourself.

I also answered this question because questions like this force everyone to find a dark story. We all have many of them. When we share how our father or brother discriminated against us for our gender then everyone feels sorry for our bad luck. However, there are many sides to a story.

Even if a father wanted a male child and still carve or wish for one. That doesn't mean that he don't love his daughter.

I know about such people who cried when a daughter was born but later gave her the best of education and loved them like their princess. Now, when the daughter came to know that her Mother cried when she was born- it was a terrible thing for a teenage girl.

If she writes about that single incident then many girls might connect. But, she has thousands of happy memories with her parents. Please don't forget that males are less expressive and fell short of telling how much they love their daughters and or sisters. I am able to write not tell her...:)

My father is also reserved in his emotions but when I said, "Dad, my sister has made us all proud and she has brought glory to you" I can't explain the spark in his eyes.

Please don't judge your Dad/brother just on the basis of few negative experiences.

If anyone has any difficulty in getting along with family then ping me and I would try to help you get over those feeling.

I can understand your frustrations in not having the same degree of freedom as your male siblings. I won't tell much but would like to put excerpts from my another answer that can help you understand the root cause of such behavior of people like me who discriminate with their sisters.

We got independence 68 years ago. US has got it’s freedom 239 years ago. Our society is evolving and I am sure that within next 20-30 years things will get streamlined.  Currently, neither the society is equal nor the laws are equal for both men and women. The society is such that women in India can’t do many things freely here which might be a normal thing for a westerner. Similarly our Laws are heavily biased against men as rightly pointed out by Anushree Prakash B,

"Lie from a woman is truth until proven otherwise" and

"Truth from a man is a lie until proven otherwise"

Please say no to Male Bashing and say yes to Women Empowerment.

And, never forget that in life,

"It doesn't matters what happened, at the end, it's all about what you remember and how you remember".

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Everything happens for a reason

Let me tell you a real story. It is about a boy who was shy, reserved and introvert. He was never addicted to any of the social networking sites. He used to visit places but hardly checked into locations. He could never get launched on Facebook , Twitter or Orkut properly.  He was everywhere but nowhere.

He didn’t want to get judged by others. He used to write journals, he had his journal full with his roller coaster ride which included how he coped up with his new job, his emotions, and his fears, his insecurities. He always believed that “Paper is patient”. His confidant was his diaries and his journals.

Then one day a summer intern came and introduced him to a Question Answer website, Quora.  He immediately fell in love with Quora. He got addicted to a level when he wanted to get out of the addiction of it. He felt his life goals are getting affected as he lacked discipline and was obsessed with his new found love.

He was behaving like a Tiger has been released from his cage. Yes, he behaved as wild and crazy. He started writing answers like a crazy psycho. He didn’t care whether people liked his answers or not. He was just writing. His words were flowing. He was reading and writing on the go. Slowly, all his leisure time and personal time were spent on Quora.

It was a vacation full of adventure. But as it is said that excess of anything is bad. He started feeling that Quora is an escape from his own problems. So, he decided to put a brake on its usage immediately and significantly.

Life is all about discipline. It’s time to realize that it has become an obsession and hence it has to go. His recent answers with thousands of upvotes were flagged by Quora for some lame reasons which in turned helped him to chuck this website for his own well being.

As that poor boy is me, so I am doing an analysis of pros and cons of my 3 months stint as an active writer on Quora:

PROs

• I got the inspiration to write on a large variety of topics, giving life lessons, sharing whatever I know and getting appreciated for my writing.
• This blog is a thriving resource now just because I got addicted to writing. I wrote many posts here so I feel that I can call myself an amateurish blogger.
• I have learned how to connect with the audience though my main purpose is to write to create impact not impress anyone.
• Writing is a medicine for me. I will keep writing in my journals and on this blog.  Occasionally, I will write on Quora also.
• Yes, for the first time I contributed to any online website or forum. I have always been a passive user who reads but never commented or wrote anything worthwhile anywhere. So, writing more than 500+ answers in a span of 3 months is a good way to do something good for the online community.
• I have got enormous success as a newbie writer on Quora. For me, Quora proved to be the best social networking website.
• I have made a sister on Quora who is of the same age as my sister. She is a friend who has helped me see things from a different perspective. She is mature and I am blessed that our paths crossed.

CONs

• The rules of Quora are vague and they have often rubbed me on the wrong side but as I have a positive attitude so I dealt with all those small setbacks gracefully.
• I have got not so positive response from the admins and moderators as they are already overloaded and hence are often not so friendly at times. I can understand it. They are doing a thankless job of keeping the site clean. So, no complaints or grievance.
• At times,  they have alleged me of being a spammer,  termed my answer as a comment, asked to add affiliations when I am not promoting anything or have nothing to disclose, flagged my answer bad formatting.

I have learned a couple of things about Formatting and other things.

• Yesterday my answer with 77000+ views and 3650 upvotes got flagged for lacking affiliation. It was a lame reason to lock my answer to a subjective question “Why is Life Tough?” – Life is neither tough nor easy, it’s depends on our perception to a large extend. So, thank you Quora for taking this step to help me put the last nail in the coffin.
• Quora deleted my answer to garner support for Cancer patient, Shivani Yadav who is battling blood cancer since May 15. She is my brother’s college senior.  Quora Moderation messaged me that my answer is a Spam as per their policy. It was for a cause, the girl needs 51 Lakh for bone marrow transplant and she has got donations worth 16 lakh. Quora is ruthless in its objective and is heartless and emotionless.
  
• This blog is like my home, few visitors come to this place but there are no lame rules here, I can support a cause I believe in here. I was pained that I failed to help Shivani Yadav to the extend I wanted to do.

Everything happens for a reason. I came to quora, loved the place, enjoyed it and now have decided to quit it. It was a real journey full of ups and down. I have seen apathy to overwhelming response. I have evolved as a writer. I never got feedback on my writing prior to the Quora phase. After I gain discipline and undo my addiction of quora then I will visit it occasionally and would read and write on the site.

I have neglected many other important things during last 3 months; also I had no time to worry about anything as I was engrossed in writing in my free time. I have developed a habit to get the inspiration of writing in anything and everything. This post is a live example of the same.

So, get ready for some deadly blog posts in days to come. Stay tuned. Take care ☺

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Getting Stereotyped Hurts

It hurts to get stereotyped. Never mock someone else’s food, culture, tradition, way of living. It is so because it hurts.

I was a victim of Stereotype.

I am from Bihar; I lived in Kota for 3 years in my quest to please the Gods who guard the gate to IITs. Of course, I couldn’t please them. But, I learned life lessons in Kota.

When I went outside Bihar for the first time, being Bihari was an abuse. I was asked questions about how I lived in such a place where kidnapping, murder, ransom, etc was rampant. People made me feel as if I came from a Jungle. I cannot blame them as the reputation of Bihar was like that at that time. Initially, I felt so bad, I started to hide that I was from Bihar. Since, I never had a Bihari accent due to hindi being my mother tongue rather than any other local dialect. So, I would tell that I am from Haryana for a brief period since my cousin stayed in Gurgaon and I knew his address.

It was the worst part of my life to feel ashamed of my birth place. Was I responsible for the law and order or bad reputation of Bihar? I bounced back and told people that I am from Bihar. I was one of the best things I did. Some people who told they were from UP or MP, later told me that they are also from Bihar. Slowly, many started coming out of their inhibition of being labeled as a Bihari, We decided that if being Bihari is a tag and we will wear it so that at least people who meet us would learn to see Biharis in a positive light.

Many from other states were honest and upfront and would tell that “You don’t look like a Bihari”. Now this was time to request them to see us in a different light. We do speak good English and are generally good people like you all. Just because you met a bunch of idiots who might have shared the same birthplace doesn’t mean that we all are like them.  

Since then, I have never felt humiliated for being a Bihari. After staying for more than 11 years outside Bihar in Kota (Rajasthan), Bhubaneswar (Orissa), Hyderabad ( old AP) and Mumbai ( Maharashtra).

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What should men know by 22?

You are on the verge of getting into the job market. Here are some things that will be helpful

1. Find a Mentor in your industry.
2. Never quit on a dream. Keep half an hour aside each day for making your dream a reality.
3. Work hard, really hard. No work is small. When I joined, I got the job of following up with people who defaulted on their commitments. It felt like a Mechanical engineer is doing a BPO job in a construction company. Thankfully I had a 2 years bond of 2 Lakh else I would have run away. Within few months, I started interacting with clients and suppliers. I was handling things on my own. I have seen extremes as a newbie. The transition from a less demanding role to a high demanding one was not easy but enriching. So, have patience and learn to do so-called small jobs at times.
4. Rejections are prized possessions-I failed to get into IITs even after 2 sincere attempts, when my friend was 22, he was so obsessed with IITs that he told that he would take re-birth again to get into IITs. Please don’t judge him, his elder brother was an IITian and he must have experienced something which made him tell so.
5. Never be ashamed if you are not placed during campus placement. Campus Placement is over-hyped.

My brother is 22, he completed his engineering from one of the top 5 colleges of MP but he couldn’t get placed in the campus selection.  We knew the scenario of placement in MP, so have asked him to prepare well in advance for the placement season. He studied hard but still, he couldn’t make it to any of the good companies that visited his campus. He is unplaced. But, don’t pity on him. 

He would often clear the written test. Time and again he was getting rejected in the final round of selection.  It was a great feat to get into the last 15-20 students out of a pool of more than 1000 candidates, that too after surviving many rounds. For us, he was a winner but for the world he was just another guy who failed to grab a job in campus. 

He is currently honing his programming skills at the best institute in Bangalore. It has been a little more than a month and the confidence he has got is incredible. I am sure that he can land in a decent job soon. Though, we are not in hurry and have advised him to take a job only where he can learn and grow professionally. Money is secondary thing for a fresher. Some of my cousins have followed the same path and have started their career with as low as 10K bucks per month and now after 8-9 years, they all are earning  15+ LPA. So, don’t think that if you start with a small company then you are going to be struck with a low paying job. 

I am sharing about him now just because there are many other 22 years old who are upset as they have graduated and have no job in hand. People with good intentions also end up hurting guys who are unplaced. A week ago my sister got job offers from two reputed IT companies. She already had a job offer from an upcoming startup where she did her Internship this summer. I also got two job offers in college. All this, make people compare my brother with us. We were from a college that has a good placement record. I am glad that our family has learned not to panic in this situation. 

The extra struggle my brother has to do will only make him stronger and better. When you have positive attitude then adversity is a better teacher than luxury.  I keep reminding him that  5 year down the line , we all will give his examples to all those who are unplaced. 

WORK HARD, HOPE for the best! God help those who help themselves.If you need any help, feel free to ping me. :)

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Favourite Things about Night

Sleeping under the stars and asking a secret wish on seeing a shooting star

I still miss those days at a sleepy town where I lived as a kid. I remember the power cuts, the darkness and the fun. The summer nights were meant to be spent on the roof of the house. 

It was an awesome experience to sleep under the stars. We used to talk about constellations, milky way galaxy, aliens, UFOs and stuffs like that.   Then, it was a way of living. Now, it is a luxury. I have never been to the roof of the 20 story building where I am staying for last 4 years. I don't even know if we can go there or it is locked.

It has been long time since I have watched a shooting star. I have some wishes to ask those stars. Miss you :(

What a childhood I had...the golden 90s will always remind me of all the good things of my life.

Photo source- https://thestudenttribune.files.wordpress.com

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How My Father felt when I came to this world

I think that my birth was a bittersweet experience for my parents. During my birth, my Dad was posted in a remote place. At that fateful night, my Mom got sudden unbearable pain and she was rushed to a local Hospital, but the main doctor was not there and the other doctors recommended my Dad to take her to a better hospital. So, in all hurry, she was taken to a Private clinic which was 3 hours away. 

The clinic was of a cousin (sister) of Dad. When they reached the clinic, my aunt (also the main doctor) instructed all her staff to start preparing for the operation. Mom often laugh that Dad was given a solid scolding by her cousin. My Dad was really afraid when the Doctor told that the water has dried up in the womb ( don’t know what it means) and it is a risky case.

But, finally some good news came out next morning after the long operation and someone informed my Dad that I was born and he can meet after some time. So, in joy and excitement, he went to a nearby sweet shop and purchased lots of sweets. But, when he came back, he was informed that your child is really critical and is in incubator. 

My Maternal Uncle told me once that he had never seen my Dad so helpless. He dumped the sweets and only god knows what he was going through at that time. But, he is one of the strongest men I have seen and hence he must have shown great courage in such adversity. He was blessed with a baby who was critical and it was uncertain whether he would survive or not. I can only tremble thinking of anything like that.

But, the Doctor put her best efforts to save me. I last met the doctor who brought me in this world a few years ago and she revisited her memory and told how much scared she was while my birth. She told that she invited her seniors and consulted my case with them. I was born like a child of a chimpanzee. My skin was wrinkled as the water in the womb was dried up but fortunately or unfortunately I was saved.

The story of my own birth reminds me to do something great ( though I haven't done anything worthwhile till date :)) as I came after giving terrible pain to my parents. Getting blessed with a child is one of the best feelings in the world. I think that parents feel goosebumps while holding their child in their arm for the first time. OMG! What a feeling it must be :)

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Why people get married? Why is it important?

Why do people get married?

I really don't know about others but for me it is like engineering, everyone was doing so I also will do it without thinking :)

Why is it important?

It is important to shut mouth of the society. 

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Mom- Everyone is asking that why you are not getting your son married. He is working for 4 years. I feel so bad. (Using the emotional tricks to convince me to stumble upon Matrimonial sites)

Me- Ask them that we are not able to find out suitable match. Plus, he is dumb enough to find one on his own. Only option left is that you all have to find a suitable girl for him.

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Interaction with my sister

Me- Are you coming on Holi?

She- I have only one day leave for Holi.

Me- Bunk classes and come home. Otherwise, I will get bored.

She- It would be difficult to miss classes. College is strict about attendance.

Me-  Dear, I also studied from the same college, if you like I would book a flight ticket for you.

She- When I was in first year, you used to tell that " Resha, stay in hostel and study, don't come home after ever 2-3 months and now this change of heart. Why?

Me- At that time, you were not that sincere, now you are too sincere and I know that you will cope up with the missed classes. So, this change of heart. :)

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Do people with poor grade can be successful in Life

My grades have been shaky all my life and I relate more with those slogging that toppers. Just to give you a feel, my marks varied from 

School 57 % in Class 10th ( 1st Term) to 82 % to Class 10th Boards and the again it slipped to 67 % in Class 12th Boards.

Let us take English, Got highest (88/100) in Class 10th Boards and lowest    ( 57/100) in class 12th Boards. 

College ( from 7.04/10 CGPA in First sem to 9.04/10 in Last sem)

Am I successful?

Success is a subjective thing. I count success in terms of the learning and experience one gets in life.  Yes!  I feel successful as I work to make things better than they are. The challenges of the work I face makes me feel happy about my work. I work for a reputed company and I enjoy my work. I don't like to mention this but I do earn better than 90% of my former batchmates.

I am a startup enthusiast who is working for a MNC on a mega infrastructure project in Mumbai. Major chunk of my time goes into meeting people from different organisations of all sizes. They all are business meetings but there is tremendous knowledge sharing in those interactions.

I love talking to founders of startups as they are full of energy and passion. The same goes for CEOs, Directors and senior executives of MNCs, as they have vision for the growth and well being of their shareholders and employees.

I enjoy the best of MNC and Startup culture because I am working at a project site and it is amazing. 

Do I got opportunity to work at what I dreamt of ?

No, I wanted to be a Scientist, Bank Manager, Police Officer, Prime Minister, Doctor, Actor and Astronaut at different point of time. :( 

But I am a Mechanical Engineer working in Construction Industry in the Field of Tendering, Project Procurement, Costing, Contract Management, Outsourcing which is no way related to my dreams. Anyways, Life is all about changes, our priority and preferences changes with time.

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What is Love?

I got selected in TCS in 2010 and they informed us about our result at midnight. I called my parents and informed them about it. They sounded happy but there was nothing special like wow, omg etc.

Next morning, my Mom called me. She informed that she couldn't sleep last night because...

I panicked and interrupt, " what happened?"

Nothing...we were so happy that we couldn't sleep out of joy. She wanted to hug me and her excitement made me cry.

I don't know what is love but for me this is love in its truest form. Love you Mom for everything :)

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This has got 2.6K upvotes on Quora: Rohan Sinha's answer to What is love?

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Influence of APJ Abdul Kalam on my life

I got his email id after his death. What's the use? I should have emailed him at least once  to let him know that he was a role model. I wanted to tell him the following things:

"You have taught me to dream. I am blessed to have witness a man like you in my lifetime. I am influenced by your vision of a Developed India. Thank you for being so tall that we can see you even from our home."

Now that you have gone, I do miss you whenever I see your name. I am not able to move on with your death. Maybe I don't want to move on. I want to keep you alive in me. You have left your wisdom in the form of all the great books, videos, etc. I will learn all those to get a little better by staying with them.

Moral - Never wait for death of loved ones to miss them. Pick your phone and call someone who loved you, helped you but you have not contacted him/her for years. That's my way to give a tribute to our beloved kalam sir.

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Don't share cooked up story

Don't share cooked up story - Why Fake it till you make it is a Bad Idea :(

Last year, I was fed up answering everyone that, "I am single". So, I decided to tell everyone who would ask that question  that I have a girlfriend. I told it to my friends. I also told that to my cousins as I was really loving the excitement of friends and cousins.

They were all so excited.

But, my honeymoon period came to an abrupt end when one day Mom called to know about my imaginary girlfriend. I never expected the fake news of getting a GF to go viral.  She kept insisting that it's ok to have a GF, why are you so shy? Somehow, I managed to convince her that it was all cooked up story.

When my Mom got convinced that I don't have a GF, she told, "I already knew that love is not your cup of tea."

Typical Indian Mother

*Poker Face*

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Most amazing moment on Quora

There are many amazing moments on Quora. Just few minutes ago, a colleague came to my PC and read this

(Excerpts from Rohan Sinha's answer to Do North Indians learn from South Indians?)

My roommate - Jagdish Gowda- is a South Indian ( from Mangalore). He is one of the best human being, I have ever met. A true gentleman. He is the best person you can have as a roommate. I am getting transferred, will miss him a lot :(

The colleague who came was my roommate, Jagdish. 

I went to washroom for 2 minute and in that time coincidentally he came and saw his name  on my PC. 

He was touched by reading it. 

I had no plan to show it to him but seeing his reaction, I feel that it was good that he saw it after all we might not to working together after a month.  

Thanks Quora :)

EDIT- Quora featured me as one of the Most Viewed Writer just half an hour ago. Here we have many precious moment. What do you say guys?

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Why kids of 90's in India are special?

As a kid, I used to occasionally  go to video game parlour with 1 Rupee and would play Super Mario as I loved that and was good at it. The game would give me a high for 5 minutes. I wanted to also play contra but the game of contra would not last more than 1 minute as I was pretty bad at it. So, I never wasted my one ruppee on that.

I never had computer at home. I got laptop in first year as it was included in the hefty college fees.

When my classmates were playing fancy games like Age of Empire, Counter Strike, FIFA, NFS, etc. I used to Play Mario and Contra and would feel as if I played games worth 1000 rupees.

It was an amazing feeling. Hope someone can connect with this.

This is one of the 1000 incidents which make me feel that my childhood in 90's was beautiful.

My colleagues often tell me that their 5 year kid is so much in love with gadgets like I-Pad, Mobile that they can't live without it.

We feel special because the  kids of today might never know how beautiful our world was even without gadgets.

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Easiest Things to do in Life

To fall in love with quora

I think that for me it was the easiest thing to fall in love with Quora after the initial hiccups. 

My first answer on Quora was considered a spam. It was my first day at Quora. I had been warned that if I repeat that mistake again then I would be blocked. I was loving the site and was offended and hurt by all this.

So, I wrote back to Quora and explained that I was not spamming and I told that I would never return to this site unless they apologize. They didn't. I waited and waited for days and after two weeks, I came back. I kept my ego aside and started learning here. 

Yesterday quora featured me as Most Viewed Writer for Emotion & Philosophy. Normally, I don't care much about recognition but yesterday I really felt good as quora  labelled me a spammer 3 months ago. So, maybe that's why I felt good to do away with the spammer tag. After all, I was not a spammer, it was just a mistake  as a newbie :)

I learn life lessons here. Everyday when I wake up, I have a smile on my face.I have made two amazing pen pals here who have made my experience beautiful.

Thank you Quora :)

You may also like to read Rohan Sinha's answer to What are the new features, which Quora is planning to unveil in 2015?

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Hardest things to do in Life: Walk the talk, Change, Leaving Comfort Zone

It is the hardest thing to accept the change, come out of our comfort zone and walk the talk.

July, 2011- As a fresher, I joined a construction company in Chennai as aGraduate Engineer Trainee. I had been assigned to work on Hyderabad Metro Project. It was an incredible feeling but initially I felt so lonely in Hyderabad. But, after 2-3 weeks, I started loving it and then suddenly I got transferred to Mumbai International Airport Project.

I didn't wanted to come as I had made friends there. It took so much time to get comfortable with Hyderabad and I wanted to stay there. But, I got transferred to Mumbai because due to land acquisition issues, the Hyderabad Metro Rail Project was going at snail's pace.

Today(i.e. 6th Sept), it has been 4 years in Mumbai. I am in no mood of partying as may be in a month I have to relocate to some other place. It is a long time to stay at a place. It has been not a cake walk. I have to struggle a lot as the profile I got here was not as per my preference. 

It required some one who was experienced, dynamic and extrovert with impeccable communication skills. I had none of the qualities, I was shy, introvert and reserved. I requested the Resource Manager to assign me some other role (but the Resource Manager was convinced that I can do it). He was right. That is one of the best things that happened to me.

I still remember that I would be damn nervous before and after meetings as meeting top shots was a painful exercise. I would tremble with fear worrying about my not so good communication skills. But, I was thrown in the river when I didn't knew swimming. I had no choice but to learn it.

Today, I enjoy meeting people, my job is fun and entertaining. Writing contractual letters, negotiating with clients and contractors, project management brings me to life. I started believing that I have learned how to go out of comfort zone. But, I didn't realized one simple lesson that comfort zones also moves on as we learn and adapt.

What was painful 4 years ago, looks like a cake walk today.  But, still I have a fear/apprehension to move out of Mumbai. I love Mumbai, have friends, cousins, weekend fun, amazing work, etc. It is hard to accept the change. I am writing all this to make up my mind to embrace change and get out of comfort zone. After all, I always say these words "Push your limits, get out of your comfort zone and enjoy life"

I have walked the talk in past but it was never easy. It will be never easy. But, I am sure that it will be worth it. I just thought to share my imperfections so that I don't bear the guilt of not walking the talk. Thanks for reading!

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How it feels to have a younger brother?

I have a younger brother who has been a partner in crime, an enemy, a friend and a guide at times. He will remind me the birthdays and anniversaries of relatives so that I don't miss out wishing them on their special occasions. 

As a kid, we used to blackmail each other to ensure that our secrets are kept away from the knowledge of our parents. How funny it was to hide secrets like the tutor scolded me for not doing homework, I went out to play at 3 PM during summer vacation when Mom was sleeping, playing video game at friend's place, etc.

He was an enemy till I move out for my JEE preparation. He was inconsolable when my family was going home after settling me in Kota. We started understanding the importance of each others. He would hid in bathroom and would cry for months as he missed me. 

I am lucky to have a brother like him. :)

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How come Indians on Quora know English so well as if it is their mother tongue?

Indians on Quora mostly use English for writing in their life

It was the year 2000, one of my cousin told me that her teacher has given a surprise test to write about the Hindi Alphabets to her class. Most of the students failed to write all the alphabets correctly. Only a few were able to do it. I was surprised that how her classmates forgot Hindi Alphabets. Now, after 15 years, I am not sure whether I would be able to write about the Hindi Alphabets. 

Paradox

I have not written in Hindi for years. Hindi is my preferred language for reading and speaking. But, for writing, I have no other option except English. 

When I am at work then I would be naturally speaking in English but for writing, do I have any other option? No! That's why we have become good at writing in English.

Importance of "English" from the corridor of my memory

Aww... he speaks in English

My childhood spent at a sleepy town in eastern India.  I used to look with awe at others speaking fluently in English. People feel that you are smarter if you are good at English.  Now as more and more people are speaking English, this is not that big an issue as it used to be 15-20 years ago.

You better talk to your daughter in English

One of my colleague was really upset few days ago as he was not happy over the fact that the play school of his 3 years old daughter has complained that she speaks in Marathi in School. He has been advised to talk to her in English at home. 

Flashback moment

He rightly says that let school teach her English and we will teach her Marathi at home else who will teach her mother tongue. On hearing his words, I went in flashback and remembered the instances when Mom wanted my sister to get admitted into Convent school. Mom was so sad that my sister couldn’t clear the test for getting into convent school. She was just 5 years then.

History Repeats... English was a craze...English is a craze

Two years ago, my parents visited Mumbai to attend a wedding and there I met my sister in law who was sad that her 7 year old daughter couldn’t make it to a convent school.

My Take on Things

Life is a marathon. My sister is superb  at Programming, loves what she study, her passion makes me learn from her. I don’t think she even remember that she failed to get into a convent school. Her English is good but definitely not like those who are from convent.

My First day at college was a torture- We have to give an extempore on stage in front of the class. I was feeling feverish. My friend told, "I would educate my kids at Convent school or DPS (Delhi Public School)" so that they don't have stage fear. He was feeling an identity crisis to see amazing English speaker who were from DPS or Convent. [That friend is now in London, I am going to message him to know whether he remember this DPS Episode or not.]

I admire Convent educated Girls - All my life, I admired the impeccable communication skills of Convent Educated Girls.  I was no where with respect to them.  Now, my stage fear is out of the window. I am even at ease talking to CEOs or Directors of various companies but if my Dad tell that family of a convent educated girl has approached for marriage purpose then I feel like sweating. All my confidence goes for a six and I feel inferior to them. The only reason is that old habits lasts longer. As, I have admitted it, so I am sure to overcome this inferiority complex :)

Why Indian are able to learn English and many others are finding it difficult to cope up with English as a Second Language.

Chinese have to learn Chinese language which is a very complicated language. They also learn Japanese to get jobs in Japan. Hence, learning English is really difficult as they also use Chinese and Japanese. But for us, English is the offical language in the MNCs, private sector, etc.

Benefits

Social  Status

We are a nation obsessed with English. This obsession has helped us to excel at the International stage. 

Gateway to a higher living standard

Better Job Opportunities- BPO/IT/Healthcare/Retail/Tourism. Outsourcing was a boon for the middle and lower middle class in India and we have to admit that we have better options that our parents.

The World is Flat

We are able to keep pace with the world because we have an advantage over those from China, Brazil, South Africa, Mexico, etc because of our better grip over English. In fact, India has the largest English Speaking population in the world.

I write detailed answers, if you have liked then you can follow me on Quora and/or check out my blog Life is Beautiful

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