When was the first time you were discriminated for being a female?

My sister has been discriminated so many times for her gender that I forgot when was the first time I discriminated against her. Before killing me by tearing into pieces,  keep reading.

Hello everyone, I want to spill the beans for one and all. I want to show the other side of my personality which is somehow not getting reflected in my writings.

Recently, I came across sentences from girls like "I'm not close to my Father" "I'm not close to my brother" "My trip got cancelled because my father said No." "My Father wanted a son and we are trying to prove him wrong". All this saddens me as by the end of this post you'll know how people like me are responsible for alleviating those feelings.

I am programmed to be interested in only serious lifelong relationship.

Don't judge a person by what he says...just notice his deeds.

Action speaks louder than words. I always feel that we often fail to give a correct picture about ourselves or any situation and so, I'm going to disappoint some of the people.

You only know what someone is willing to tell. I interact occasionally with some girls here and I don't even have an iota of idea about who are they? I've made it a point to keep the discussions intellectual and I'm glad that I never asked personal questions to anyone.

You know why? Because, they are also somebody's sister and I was never interested in the things people of my age do. I'm weird as per the standards and that's my strength as well as weakness. May be that's why I always had only a few friends....but true lifelong friends.

You know how- I love my sister beyond any measure and I write a lot about her. Still, I discriminate with her for her gender. I am sharing excerpts from "Rohan Sinha's answer to Why do some men hate feminists?

How she is getting discriminated by her own brother?

• I am partial- I love my sister a little more than my brother. A portion of my saving each month goes to a separate account to buy an expensive gift for my sister on her wedding. That's another thing that when she will be my age, she would earn way more than me because of a start with a salary more than double of mine. Still, I'm his brother, it's my love, ego, pride to gift something grand to her.
• What a hypocrite I am? You can understand the  dilemma between the love of a brother and the his belief that exchange of expensive gifts in cash or kinds on Wedding is Dowry. :( I never plan anything for my wedding or my brother's wedding. I hate to have a fat wedding for myself but I would not mind arranging one for my sister. You might not understand.
• Double Standards for boys and girls-I worry when my sister travel alone or even when she is with her friends but I am least bothered about my brother when he travels. Two weeks ago, I tactfully convinced her not to go to Infosys, Mysore to meet her friends. Your father or brother might have bluntly cancelled your trip. For us, she cancelled it on her own. We don't take decisions on her behalf but are definitely guilty of influencing her.
• Do you want to know what happened when she called at 8:30 AM morning to tell Dad that she wants to go with all college friends to Mysore. She is already new in Bangalore.
• Dad told, "Are you informing or asking for permission?"
• She replied, "Asking for permission..will come by night."
• Dad said, "Ok, go as at last moment you're telling and I can't say NO"
• Then I took the phone and I made her realize how she will get tired by covering it in one day.
• She replied that Neha was telling to stay. She will talk in Infosys.
• Me- No..no...don't stay...why don't you go tomorrow 6'o clock so that you have some time to explore mysore in your one day trip.
• Today, i.e. Saturday, go to a mall, buy watch that I have to gift you on your birthday.
• She asked, "Should I go or not?"
• Me- Resha, you're already grown up and have started working also. Have we ever stopped you from doing anything. Just we told so as you're new to Bangalore and even your friends can come to Bangalore.
• So, we left her to decide on her trip. She didn't went to Mysore. I felt extremely guilt when I heard the group cancelled the trip itself.
• With remorse, I kept calling her to casually check if she was upset or angry.Surprisingly, she was not angry or upset at all.
• After coming from the Mall, at around 4, she told that it was a really hot day and it was good that we didn't went to Mysore.
• Agreeing to elders is not bad, always :P
• Had my brother told to go to Mysore, we wouldn't have bothered much. This clearly shows how my sister has been discriminated for her gender by his selfish brother.
• But, he don't give a damn being stereotyped as bad because he knew what he was doing and for whom he was doing.
• Until, he's assured of her Safety, even God can't prevent him from supporting her/stopping her without making her feel at disadvantage.
• He has already planned that soon he would book a cab for her and her friends for their Mysore Trip that got cancelled because of him.
• She is our princess but I try to make sure that I don't infringe her space-
• When my brother doesn't pick calls and Mom panics, I tell her 100 reasons not to worry.
• But, when my sister doesn't pick call, I go restless and I call everyone from her friends to hostel warden to the Administrative officer. ( PS- I was in the same college so I know many people)
• This month it happened again when Mom got a call from her office . My Mom couldn't pick up what he said on phone due to his thick accent and her being not so accustomed to English communication.
• Now, Mom called me, her commander-in-chief, to inform that my sister was not picking up calls.
• I replied, "She told me in the morning that she has 3 meetings today-maybe that's why she is not picking up the phone". I told Mom that I'll try to call and text her.
• Mom called after 5 minutes and was still worrying because of the call from her office. She was not knowing that it was a call for background check.
• So, to release her worry. I told a white lie that I spoke to her and she is busy in meeting now. Hmmm... Mom was relieved but just after hanging the phone, I started worrying...why she is not picking calls and my sister called later to tell her phone was in silent.

I've gone through the comments on my answer where I've been labeled as an ideal brother. I'm no way close to that as you must have seen...In-fact now I feel cunning also for tactfully cancelling my sister's trip. But, I feel and mean every word when I wroteRohan Sinha's answer to Which are some of the most amazing stories ever?

Excerpts from this answer which came out direct from the heart and is my most upvoted and commented post ever in life.

My parents wanted a daughter when my brother born

Mom says that girls complete a family. Boys and girls are both equally important. So true!

She is youngest in the family and is the apple of everyone's eye. She is our angel, our lucky charm.

Girls are expressive. She credited me and my brother for her success but I failed to tell her that my thought process is a gift of having an amazing sister. I respect stranger girls as I also expect others to respect my princess.

I don't find the stereotypical jokes on women with the message "Women are dumb" funny anymore.

The Crime against women would be history if people treat other girls the same way they want their sisters to be treated.

PS- I wrote this for many of the girls who followed me for that answer. As you have unknowingly felt that I am someone who don't discriminate against girls. Apologies for the confusion...I'm such an idiot who even discriminates against his sister. And you're a stranger. What can you expect from me? Please read "Rohan Sinha's answer to Why do some men hate feminists? and do un-follow  me.

I've a satisfaction that I have given a broader picture of my bonding with my sister. It's real, strong and a guiding light for my all other female relationships. I sincerely wish this might change the perspective of at least one girl who has a negative feeling for her father/brother.

It's dedicated to your brother, who is not that tactful in conveying things. I told in a meeting that " It's not about what you say but how you say to have an impact. Telling right things at the right time at the right place is a game changer."

Why I answered this question?

When I meet people who discriminate against having a girl child. I tell them, how I and my sister have got equal opportunities and she has optimized the chances she got far better than me. After she got into INTEL, I was the first person whom she called, even before Mom and Dad. She touches my heart in ways that I never expect.

If my sister can love a brother who discriminates against her, I'm sure you have what it takes to make your Dad and brother feel proud on you. Never back down, no matter what happens, you can always control the outcome.

Don't allow the discrimination against you to make you bitter. Be so sweet that even, those who discriminate feel remorseful for this act.

People do change for good...you just need some patience and belief in yourself.

I also answered this question because questions like this force everyone to find a dark story. We all have many of them. When we share how our father or brother discriminated against us for our gender then everyone feels sorry for our bad luck. However, there are many sides to a story.

Even if a father wanted a male child and still carve or wish for one. That doesn't mean that he don't love his daughter.

I know about such people who cried when a daughter was born but later gave her the best of education and loved them like their princess. Now, when the daughter came to know that her Mother cried when she was born- it was a terrible thing for a teenage girl.

If she writes about that single incident then many girls might connect. But, she has thousands of happy memories with her parents. Please don't forget that males are less expressive and fell short of telling how much they love their daughters and or sisters. I am able to write not tell her...:)

My father is also reserved in his emotions but when I said, "Dad, my sister has made us all proud and she has brought glory to you" I can't explain the spark in his eyes.

Please don't judge your Dad/brother just on the basis of few negative experiences.

If anyone has any difficulty in getting along with family then ping me and I would try to help you get over those feeling.

I can understand your frustrations in not having the same degree of freedom as your male siblings. I won't tell much but would like to put excerpts from my another answer that can help you understand the root cause of such behavior of people like me who discriminate with their sisters.

We got independence 68 years ago. US has got it’s freedom 239 years ago. Our society is evolving and I am sure that within next 20-30 years things will get streamlined.  Currently, neither the society is equal nor the laws are equal for both men and women. The society is such that women in India can’t do many things freely here which might be a normal thing for a westerner. Similarly our Laws are heavily biased against men as rightly pointed out by Anushree Prakash B,

"Lie from a woman is truth until proven otherwise" and

"Truth from a man is a lie until proven otherwise"

Please say no to Male Bashing and say yes to Women Empowerment.

And, never forget that in life,

"It doesn't matters what happened, at the end, it's all about what you remember and how you remember".