Connecting the dots: Wanted to write about Flow but ended up writing my Life Story

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Are you in Flow? Hey, don’t tell me that only rivers flow. Flow is a state of being in the moment and enjoying what you do and move steadily and continuously in the direction you want.

According to Wikipedia, in positive Philosophy, “Flow” is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.

Like sometimes, we may feel a bit low on energy or enthusiasm, flow is also a very natural process and whether you have acknowledged it or not but I am sure you must have experienced it at many times. Also read 22 things which fascinate me. I came to know about this concept recently but after knowing it, I realized that in my life also, I have experienced this flow at many times.

It reminds me of my summer holidays as a kid in a sleepy town of one of the eastern state of India, where I along with my siblings used to play carom, chess and business continuously for many hours. You forget everything when you are in flow. Read how Mumbai rains remind me of my childhood.

When I think of Flow, I remember my English tutor, Mr. Bhattacharya, a highly qualified retired professor, who has shaped my writing skills when I was in my Class IX and Class X. He used to give me topics to write on and then he would correct me wherever I had done any mistake. Then he would explain the rules of Grammar. In this way, I was learning Grammar by practicing my writing skills. I still remember my first writing assignment he gave me to write on “Why I want to learn English” and then he accepted me as his student. Also read about My Perfect Boss

I have fond memories of writing various articles and get it checked from him. He was very happy with my performance and dedication and I still cherish that moment when he decided to waive of hundred rupee of his fees. I was a very kind gesture but I still don’t know what provoked him to reduce my tuition fees and it was the time when I was really in Flow. At that time, my friends at school often challenged me to write on a topic, as bizarre as they could imagine and I would write a 200-300 words article on it instantly in 5-10 minutes to their delight and amusement. I was getting recognition in my class as someone with a very strong command of English.

Although, I don’t run behind marks but it is not deterring me from saying that I got 88 Marks in English in my Class X Board Exam just because my mentor has generated the passion for writing in me. (Now it is another story that in overconfidence and continuous neglect, my command of English got down steeply until I realized that I have to fix it before by campus placements)

I was in flow 3-4 months prior to my Class 10^th Board Exam after my Dad confronted me for my abysmal performance. It was a turning point of my life.  I felt sure to score 90% but messed it up it the final exams and end up with a modest 82 % in boards. But, it was not bad to go from 57 % in first term to 82 % in Board Exam. At that time, I hid so much about my first term result but now I am able to laugh on it and share it with all of you.

I am only sharing because our marks don’t define us. When I studied, I got decent marks but when I didn’t I had scored poorly. That’s it. It’s perfectly normal to score low at times like even the world best batsmen can’t always score and have off days for a certain period. Now, I realize what the form of a batsman is. It’s basically flow. When they are in flow they are the best. They can tame the best bowling attack while being in flow.

The next major flow of my life was when I was in Kota. There my only aim was to crack IIT JEE. (Must Read Why NITs are not as popular as IITs?) There were days when my day used to start at 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning and I would get back after attending school, coaching classes and Group discussion with Doubt-clearing faculties by 10:00 PM. But, I never complained because I didn’t have time for that. I had to study for another 3-4 hours to be able to digest what was to be taught on the next day. In those days, I never felt like I need a break or a weekend to rewind. Everything was so imperfectly perfect. The only recreating I had was that, once in a couple of weeks I will go to a cyber cafe to watch a movie.  Or you can say that I was having recreation every day.

When we didn’t had to go for classes the next day or have an exam then I would study the entire night, would give the exam and then sleep. I never felt any issue like fatigue while doing so. I used to be at my best mental alertness during exams contrary to the popular and recommended thing that you should relax prior to an exam.

There was a feeling of competitiveness that I need to get into a better batch. Those who used to perform well in those internal assessment tests will move to higher ranked batches and we aspired for getting in something better than our existing batch. The weather of Kota is very warm. But, it couldn’t deter our determination and passion for working for our goal. Now, that is another thing that I failed to live up to my own expectation but still learned and grew extensively as an individual.

Telephones were damn costly and staying away from Family was a difficult thing for me.During my first year, I didn’t had mobile phone. So, I used to wait for telephone calls on my Landlord’s telephone on Thursdays and Sundays. Although, I didn’t remember the preferred time for calls from home on Sundays but I still remember that I will go to my landlord for chilled water on Thursday at 9:30 PM. Even my landlady was surprised initially at the coincidence that whenever I am at their place, I would get call from Home.  

But, I understood the importance of my parents and other family members more by staying away. (Read my admiration for my Father) I can proudly say that there were positive improvement in me and the time, cost and money invested on me was not fully wasted. But, it still break my heart if someone pose a question indirectly to me that, what have you achieved by going to kota. Whenever someone says that going to Kota is a foolish decision, and I think otherwise but still would not utter a word because of some regrets.  However, I am very positive about all those incidents and believe that they were blessing in disguise. I have moved on while acknowledging them as a key milestone of my life. If you have been till here then don’t miss my heartfelt answer on Quora to a question that how does it feels to fail in IIT JEE. And I assure you that you will not regret.

Now comes the college, My College was a wonderful place where I met lifelong friends and have taken certain steps to enhance my personality. In my college, I was mostly in flow. In the college, I had made great buddies and my roommates used to get movies from others and we used to watch many movies together. I was someone who was movie starved after say class IX and hence was really enjoying all kinds of the Bollywood, Hollywood and Tollywood movies. I have got so engrossed in a LAN game Counter Strike that even sometimes; I have seen dreams about it while sleeping. It was so addictive that I decided to stop playing it to explore new things.

Then, I had watched entire series of Ramayana, Mahabharata and Chanakya, the decades old television series of Doordarshan, India’s official Channel. Sometimes, after watching episodes of Mahabharata for several hours without talking to anyone felt like I have gone to their era. After exploring various interesting things which couldn’t have helped me in the job market, I decided to reinvent myself. I listed down the things I wanted to improve and then had started to work on things like my GPA, my communication skills, my technical competencies, solving reasoning and aptitude questions. I enjoyed learning about the interview experience of other people on websites like gpl4you.com and freshersworld.com.

Later, It helped me a lot in my life. I learned about various soft skills. My goggling skills were well recognized by my friends and I was often asked to help them it finding information online. I read a lot of newspaper and articles to improve my reading and writing skills. My favourites are blogs on TOI and The Hindu. Not only this, I followed various blogs of different people and I thank all of them for sharing their expertise on their blog so that someone like me was benefitted. When I want to get feedback on my blog, I get reminded of all those bloggers I have silently admired. I wish I had acknowledged their efforts. But you must learn from my mistakes and let me know what you feel about this blog on the Discussion Forum.

I was rewarded for the continuous improvements made by me and I got placed in two well respected companies, one was a software giant and another a leading construction Company. I opted to join the construction company because I felt it will add feathers to my wings. I knew nothing about software engineering. Just because of little preparation of frequently asked questions and my communication skills, I cleared the interview of that company.  It was a time of flow when I felt I will get success in whatever I do. I gave exam for GATE and qualified that also with literally no preparation. Although, my rank was not good enough for getting admission in IITs but yes, I cleared the cut off and could have got admitted in many good colleges for M-Tech based on that score card.

Now, four years down the line, when I look back they look like small things, many students who couldn’t got through the campus placement got placed in better companies off campus or through competitive exams. Many of my classmates have done higher studies from various colleges in India or abroad. Many who have got through campus placement couldn’t continue with the company they got selected  into for long as they didn’t liked the work and so on. Life is much more that clearing a competitive exam or getting a plum job.

We should do things we enjoy because they keep us happy. I have my list of 19 things which makes me happy. Have a look and prepare your own list. Happiness is the outcome of flow. So, one piece of advice I will give to anyone in life is to find Flow and everything else will be in order. You can find flow by doing what you love doing. I am in Flow while writing this and I assure you that nothing is more enjoyable than doing what you love doing. It is the only way to find Flow, which will lead to happiness, joy, bliss and peace of mind. It will keep you energized and let you overcome all that is undesirable. It leaves you with no time to focus on negative things in Life. You will forget how to worry just by being in Flow.

I think, I have written about my life story while writing about Flow as I ended up connecting the beautiful moments of my life. It reminds me of a popular song “ Jaana tha Japan pahuch gaye cheen” ( wanted to go to Japan but have reached China)

Hope you would have liked it.

By- Rohan Sinha