Dark Side of Marriage

The dark side of a marriage is divorce or a life worse than hell for few couples.

These types of questions and the answers of the anonymous users scares me to death. I've friends who're under a feeling that their marriage may go wrong. How can they be so pessimistic even before getting married?

Marriage is a big milestone for any person irrespective of gender. I'm one such stone age guy who never felt like dating anyone because he was too sure that his parents are orthodox, which was a myth.

Hence, he never tried. He never regrets because he has done many other things in life. He is happy for those who have dated. After all, Life is a playground, everyone goes to the field and play different games -some play football, some cricket and some might enjoy badminton. So, those who play badminton shouldn't regret not being able to play cricket. However, there might be few who've played both.

I feel that it would be better to have a girl in life who is good at heart. But, trust me, how can you find those girls in an arrange marriage setup. Mom says that same dilemma applies for girls too while looking for suitable guy...well she has a valid point after all, they leave their home and come to new set up.

There have been incidents when one side will just send a photo and would ask for feedback. While I'm not blaming them but how do you expect someone  to say yes for marriage just like that. How do you know if someone is good at heart or a fake person. How does anyone else know how am I? After all having an image of a person from someone's online activity is also not always fully correct.

But, I would want to know from fellow Quorans about what can help someone find a spouse who can make their life more beautiful. Is there a way out to know the nature of a person before marrying them? Bhuvi Jain - Quora Mom, Please help.

Thought, I've asked it still a part within me feels that there is no point in asking others who don't know anything about us. Because, some journey's have to be travelled alone. It's our problem- To identify how to find a spouse who is compatible and has good nature. I would find a solution for myself, you've to take care for your own when the time will come.

Don't stereotype and get carried away by hearing only one side of a story- Every Failed Marriage has two sides of the story. I've found in some cases that both person considers themselves as victim and the other one as a culprit. That's best example of a lose-lose situation.

Just before winding up, I feel that I would be able to go out of the way to adjust. However, I truly don't know if I can ever live with a cheater or a wicked person. May be some questions should be left un-answered. Like someone who will go to orphanage not to cheer the kids but to get some selfies to post online. I read an answer on quora about someone who got really angry as they forgot the phone. Her smile got back once her friend brought the phone and she clicked pictures with kids to posts online. Incidents like these shames me as a fellow human being.

1. Pictures + Good Intention behind a social cause) = Time Well Spent and a Life time Memory --A beautiful person.
2. Pictures + (only for milking the holy cow for some likes or upvotes without any interest in the cause) = Ugly/Wicked person.

Can anyone provide some tips- gender neutral to differentiate between these the Ugly/Wicked and Beautiful person?

Beware of BNBR. No male bashing or stereotyping of Females will be tolerated. Looking forward for insightful, sensible comments that can help us be better.

My colleague who is a forced bachelor gave some wonderful lessons yesterday.

1. After their engagement, they had a bitter fight over his addiction to smoking, drinking, chewing tobacco. He chose her wife over these. My respect for him increased by hundred folds as he quit all those and it has been 4 years to all those incidents. I'll post about his struggle to quit all these habits as a post on Psychological Patterns . Follow the blog to get notified.
2. He told that I've a good habit that I talk to my wife daily (remember that he is a forced bachelor). He added, "Some people say that why you need to talk to your wife daily, she is wife, not girlfriend". His sarcastic reply is a relationship hack.
3. He replied to that stupid friend, "If couples will not talk after marriage then when they should talk? Is it after their divorce?"

Take a bow my friend...you really showed me how marriages work....I would also encourage others to share such tips that help others who're or will be married.